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Monday, January 3, 2011

Mondays...who needs 'em?

This was definitely a day that would have better served me to stay in bed.  Mondays are bad enough all on their little own, but to compound their generally bad reputation by visiting the doctor?  That is just a wrong idea all the way around.  Oh, yeah, furthermore, it's the first Monday of a brand new year!  WTF was I thinking????

Gah!

So, as you may have surmised....nothing good came from this doctor's visit, but I am not surprised there.  This wasn't a 'routine' exam with my GP but a sit down with the uber scary Nephrologist...yeah, those are soooo much fun.  Not.

But nothing he said was a surprise to me, but what is surprising is how I reacted...I came unglued.  I think it all just sort of hit me,  and maybe I am just a bit hormonal, too...who can know?  Sigh.

It was a gut punch, plain and simple.  And, though I have managed to halt the waterworks and stop with the full-body shakes, I am still a little frayed around the edges.  There are a million things I should be doing...cleaning house (though I can still use the foot as an excuse on that one, thankfully), I could be researching, or writing, I have something I have been dying to read for the past couple of days...but I just can't focus on anything.  All I have managed to do since I got home, is lie in bed with the kiddoes, and watch cartoons.

I haven't told anyone here what the doc said....haven't told anyone, and I'm not going to today...it's just too fresh and raw and I just don't have the energy to deal with everyone else getting all upset.  That's the hardest part of all of this...how upsetting it is to the people I know.  I NEVER want to hurt anyone, but it seems the more they know the more hurt they are...that's why I keep it all in.   I don't let anyone know when I am hurting, I don't complain about how sick the meds make me, I don't let them see what a struggle it is just to get out of bed on a daily basis.  It just seems to be the most humane thing to do.  There is nothing they can do to help me, so it isn't fair to make them worry unnecessarily. 

Yeah...Mondays just suck, so I think we need a little diversion.......




Sigh...I do love the lovelies.

I feel better already. : )

3 comments:

LB said...

oohh- I do love the lovelies too! and that first one is particularly lovely!

*hugs"* (and more when needed) :)

Monika said...

The lovelies will cure what ails you, that is for certain. ;)

And, thank you for the *hug*

xoxo

Em Woods said...

You do have such pretty scenery, Monika!

((more hugs)) I'm sure we could do the group thing if you need it... :)